how could you NOT love this kid?? cheesy smile and all... he's funny, smart, cute and i love all of his silly quirks and codyisms. i guess all parents feel that way about their kids, or at least should. i understand that my kid is not perfect, but he's pretty darn close.
there's a kid in cody's class that has become a real problem for me. and for cody. i can't figure out why, but for some reason he segregates cody and chooses him as the kid he doesn't like. we dealt with him all last year and we even had the pleasure of having this bully on the soccer team i coached. which gave me a first hand experience dealing with him. he gets some of the other boys in class on board so they all follow the popular alpha male, and do what he does. i dropped cody off to line up in front of his class this morning and watched from the car as the boy, we'll call him K, told the other 3 or 4 kids to get away from cody. they basically played a game of keep away while cody stood there, not really sure what they were doing. i understand that children joke around every day with each other, call each other names, and some times take part in some fairly physical play. this is a small incidence but the kind of thing that happens often with K.
last night i asked cody about his friends at school, and who he sits by at lunch and almost cried when he said, "mama, i don't have that many friends. just michael, taylor and bella. the boys that pay with K don't want to play with me." my defense for this has been to really try and instill a big, strong self esteem in cody by always telling him the things he is good at and how much we love him. i try to tell him to remember how it makes him feel when those kids are mean for no reason and to never treat the other kids the same way. and to stick up for the other kids who get bullied. kind of teaching him about bulling and that K is acting out. this is a power imbalance between the two. cody is nearly a year younger than some of the other kids. he's a very young 6 year old 1st grader, with a july birthday (...something i HIGHLY reccomend considering before enrolling your kid in school.. he was more than ready academically, but there is so much to be said about a year of maturity in both girls and especially boys...)
bullying hasn't so much been physical, but comes in other forms of intimidation from K. he can be verbal, or just a sneer or glance. i try to tell cody to blow him off and not let the boy get to him. and that the best way to defuse a bully is not to show him that it affects you. basically to laugh it off and act like he doesn't care. at the beginning of the year when we discovered this boy was in cody's class, he was mortified. i told him to try the best he could to become his friend or at least treat him the same as he wants to be treated and to stand up for himself. i don't want to run to the rescue everytime he has an issue. i want him to be able to have enought confidence to handle things so he doesn't become a wimpy boy.
i'm thinking about getting him in to some kind of martial arts program. and not just for the defense part, but for the confidence building as well. what little boys doesn't want to be aggressive? even when they play, boys want to have swords, and make guns sounds, be soldiers, warriors. it's healthy. thats the way boys are.
i remember cody said, "mama, when can we see brian and grahm(his cousins) again? i ike playing with them... sometimes boys just gotta fight," referring to the times when they get to play together and wrestle and be boys. for some reason, brinley- his litte girl cousin buddy, just doesn't get into this stuff ;) and cody understands that.
i've talked to his parents who are both nice people, ( ...but who are divorced... and send K to before & after school daycare...) they are aware of his behavior. i think a lot of it is him acting out because there is a lack of stability at home. dr. laura (who i usually love) talks about this a lot: split up families, and how it affects kids. maybe it's good that cody's getting a dose of this at a young age. maybe he can figure out how it works and get through it while he's young. cody will have the same class for 2 years. they do a looping program here where 1/2 & 3/4 grades are combined with the same teacher and kids for 2 years. so, most likely we'll have to deal with this little turd for awhile....