(way long and way boring...)
is it just me or does time seem to speed up every day the older you get? the years get shorter until here i am on the eve of my 30th birthday. yikes! it’s kind of an odd transition - not quite sure where I fit at times. i catch myself asking questions like, “is it really appropriate to wear this?...or listen to this kind of music? would a 30 year old do this or that?” and seriously! should i still be getting acne for crying out loud? i'm not sure if melancholy is the word i feel…but somehow your not really a “kid” after this age... and holy smokes! i’m a wife of almost 8 years, a mother to both a 7 year old and a 5 month old and i own my second home and enough debt to go along with it all. how can i possibly already have this much responsibility?
but in the same breath, i'm glad i only have to go through my twenties once because i think my mom might have to jump off the nearest cliff if i didn't. i'm extremely human and i've done some really dumb things and certainly had more than a few eye-opening experiences but i guess they all led me to where i am now. i have more confidence, less anxiety, more calm, less bitterness, and way less stupidity and lack of will power. but one thing that remains the same is that i can still write a run-on sentence like no ones business.
and now without further ado i share...
a list of things that i've learned up to this point:
...that time changes EVERYTHING. in three months things will be different.
...the importance of friendship. i’ve learned that being a good friend is just as comforting as having a good friend... that its important keep your guard up to not get taken advantage of... that it is okay to grow out of a relationship… and that a few true genuine friends mean more than a crowd. i've also realized that the importance of making friends outside my usual social circle.
...that more than likely your parents did the best they could and didn’t consciously set out to mess you up. it’s time to forgive them and take responsibility for your life now…. and to fully forgive them
...that people you love can hurt you, but you need to make peace with it, and move on.
... what a gut instinct is and after falling on my face too many time, that its important to follow it. i tend to learn a lot of lessons the hard way.
...to cut everyone a little slack... none of us are perfect.
...that money really means nothing but how you handle it really tells a lot about your character.
..to try & have a positive, optimistic attitude. it has carried me through some tough times.
...that it's important to maintain an exercise routine, to take care of my body and accept my limits
regardless of how invincible i think i am.
....to think extra hard about getting that tattoo on your back, it actually is permanent.
...to just get rid off the excess… it ways you down. and there is nothing more liberating than tossing out old love letters and mementos. along with the empty cd cases and loner tupperware lids….
...that being spontaneous doesn’t work so well as you get older.
...that things don't work out in life the way you thought they would, but somehow things work out exactly the way they are meant to.
...not to worry too much what others think about me as long as i know i'm making the right choices for me.
... how to treat people with respect, how to express emotions and how to be self-aware.
...to find joy in the simple things, as corny as it sounds it is SO true.
...not to sell myself short.
...that the person who tells me everything about everyone is telling everyone everything about me, too.
...no to be afraid to ask for help.
...& that it really is worth taking the time to help someone in need.
...that handwritten letters should never be taken for granted.
...that its ok to say no if i need or want to.
...that its important to apologize and mean it. holding a grudge tears me up.
....that i can cook a great dinner with the items on hand in my kitchen because grocery shopping isn't really as fun as i once thought it was.
...that my parents are amazing and did the best they could with what they had.
...that its ok to take a compliment gracefully... most people don’t know how to accept one.
...how to pick to pick myself back up and move on after failing at something.
..to try to do things that don't involve the computer. it can become an addiction just like drugs or alcohol.
...that its beyond important to sit and listen to stories and bits of wisdom from your elders. i cherish all of my grandparents and have wonderful memories of them all, but i was so fortunate to be able to spend a lot of one on one time with my grandma esther in the last years before she passed away. the things she said have deep meaning to me. i am so thankful i took the time to listen to them.
...and most of all, i've learned how invaluable my family is.
i can honestly say that i am humbled going into the next phase of life....(& hopefully andy rooney is right about all of that flattering 30 year old stuff. )