Thursday, October 21, 2010

love always wins.

this past month or so has been a big fat emotional roller coaster... mostly on the downward slope, and hopefully more of the upward slope from now many times can you fall on your face? really? i've been feeling unconfident in the things i say and do.

i keep trying to remember the personal goals i've given myself and constantly try to work on them: to be a good, true and honest friend,sister wife, mom, to try my best not to gossip or speak unkindly of others,  to compliment at least 3 people or so a day and take a compliment politely when its given, and when i makes mistake to pick myself up brush off and try again, even if it seems i'm taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.

i feel like a looser for a lot of reasons, but today for example a smallish one: i missed codys "writing celebration" at school. it was kind of a big deal to him.  "mom, where were you? we had the writing celebration today!!?" ugggg. i could have cried i felt so bad. i promised him frozen yogurt to make up for my lameness and to help patch up his broken heart.

i'm trying my best not to let this blog turn into a big sad story. but sometimes thats real life right? and whats the purpose of this thing anyway? i've always kept a private journal. i've recently considered making this thing private. i might be letting a little too much of myself out there... hmmm, i'll have to think about that some more.

ps. i was looking for a particular photo, which i didn't find (does anyone have tips on ways to organize 428 million photos??) but i did find these cute ones instead.

i forgot she was so fat and small at one time not too long ago.
and this photo of cody, he was 2 here. close to lola's age now.
this photo reminds me of a funny story, gramma lana is always canning something and this day she was canning tomatoes. when i went into her living room to check on him cody said he was helping gramma to can tomatoes.
i just love this one, red eyes and all. sweet babies.


Christy said...

I say leave it public! And keep a smile on your face =)Nobody's perfect and we're all working on ourselves just the same

Kera said...

i feel like i am on a roller coaster a lot of times too. it's normal for people to have a bad day, bad month, maybe even a bad year. i like the goals that you have set for yourself and I think you are a pretty awesome person. thanks for being so good to me!

Joy said...

I'm not sure what impossible standard you're tryig to live up to, but we think you're terrific just the way you are!

Darla said...

I love the raw-uncut version of your posts. Err.., did I say that right? It really IS refreshing to hear or read what I feel all the time. You are wonderful for trying so hard to be better-and even more, for being so honest and open about your shortcomings. That's HUGE! I'd much rather be that way than proud and secretive. I love you.